At age 17 I am cast out into the real world the world I never knew existed, out of my comfort zone away from people whom I grew up with for more than a decade.Even after signing my school report cards for years my parents never realised that I was not good with academics. And the day came when I had to choose one option out of the two given to me I either become a doctor or an engineer. I knew becoming a doctor was impossible with 64% in my board exams so the obvious option I choose was engineering.
There were close to 1500 engineering colleges in Tamil Nadu at that time and every second person you meet on the road could be an engineer. There were so many of them out there and it reached a point where engineers were paid less than 6 thousand a month or even lesser. If we have to point our fingers at someone whom could we point at ..do we point it at our parents for not talking to us and understanding what we like to become? Do we point it at the society for incorporating such ideas into our parents that pressuries them into making decisions for us?do we point it at the government for having such a bad education system in our country which doesn’t prepare us at all?or do we point it at ourselves for not being able to stand up for ourselves?
I am a 28 year old from Madras and I am going through a phase in my life which I don’t seem to understand.I have been an angry person all my life and I never could understand what made me angry.
I spent my childhood growing up in a typical Indian joint family in Madras where I have spent years of my life being told that I would be respected only if I worked with the government. I was young back then and the only things I wanted to do was play and go to school. I was a kid and my thoughts were not about a job nor about money nor anything luxurious. Is that not how a kid should be?
When I entered my higher secondary I was a teenager with hormones rushing inside me and I better understood things that I thought were silly before. I grew a beard and felt manly inside me wanting to impress the opposite gender and not a worry in my head thinking about exams or the future about which everyone around me were so serious about. So far I have had shelter,clothing,food,sports and friends and I was happy never wanting anything more. This was my world from kinder garden to 12th standard inside the same compound where I was protected,taken care of, taught from books inside classrooms. I believed in this world and never dreamt this would ever end and these are the people who are going to be with me forever and there is nothing outside of this. But there came an end to all of this to shatter the world I built inside my head for 15 years “the last day of school” I never could accept the fact that I have to go out into the actual world out there to face things that I never knew existed. To say the goodbyes and to accept the truth that I would never be able to enter the compound without permission was the first time I felt fear inside me and i started asking questions to myself. What is next? Where am I headed? Why is this ending?